Double-Edged by Rhi
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Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: This version of immortality was created by Greg Widen, and filmed/produced by Rysher: Davis/Panzer. No money made, no infringement intended. Beta courtesy of kai and tarsh; any mistakes mine.
Unrated: Companion to Unspoken Laws, and they can be read in either order.

And when they

told you, so bluntly, that you had to learn to kill

gave you the blade,

And showed you the correct way to grip the hilt

not knowing that you knew, already, abstractly, why
the leather was cross-wrapped

and reminded you
To thread your hand through the lanyard rather than leave it dangling

as your life is dangling, and your past already swinging,
creaking, spinning in the winds
of history and fate like the corpse you almost wish--


Where it could be grabbed or snagged, leaving you
Disarmed--

disinherited? disowned? when they're all gone, when there's no one left,
is there any word for it other than adrift?

And when they finally, firmly, tell you,
“You have got to learn this,”
Then you know

oh, god. it's not just me, is it? all the grief

that they need you, too.
They have lost/grieved/died with their families, too.
And your loss might, just might, tip their hard-won balance

into night.

So you live,
Just for this day,
Just for this extra, stinking, blessed, god damned
DAY.

Wondering,
when the pain stops.
Wondering,
if the joy returns.
Wondering
if it's a life... or a life sentence.

And until you know,
There's always the

comforting, now,

weight and heft
and balance

of your sword.


Double-edged.

Of course.